John Leno is a well-known American stand up comedienne and a television show host. He started a primetime talk show, The Jay Leno Show, which got canceled amid a lot of controversy – think Conan O’Brien! After the controversial exit of Conan, Leno returned to host The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.
Some of his all-time hit quotes include the following:
“CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.”
“For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!”
“Politics is just show business for ugly people.”
“You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.”
"A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father."
In this interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay leno asks him after the discussion of the U.S. fiscal cliff, “IfChris Christie runs for president could you get him into shape?”
In another show he says, “Officials in London have fined President Obama $193 for not paying a $16 traffic fee.” After a pause he says, “If we can’t pay England sixteen bucks, how are we going to pay 14 trillion dollars to the Chinese?”
"I saw something stupid in the paper today - a new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those...it's called a window."(From "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" (1992), February 14, 2001)