Oscar 2013’s Swag Bags Are The Weirdest Ever!

by
Sameera Ehteram
Oscars bring all sorts of expectations. While wondering who will be nominated, who will win, who will look the hottest and who will just flop, the contents of the envious swag bags are also a great source of anticipation and speculations!

Oscar 2013’s Swag Bags

Oscars bring all sorts of expectations. While wondering who will be nominated, who will win, who will look the hottest and who will just flop, the contents of the envious swag bags are also a great source of anticipation and speculations!

As they should be!

Containing goods and services worth thousands of dollars, these goodie bags are envy for all! Over the years they have contained gifts like all-expense paid vacations to exotic places around the world, luxury goods and branded items.

This time, however, the swag bags are a bit of a disappointment. Gone are the days when  the worth of these bags ranged in six figure numbers, this time around, it’s an all time low of $45,000!

Not only that, they contain the likes of condoms, maple syrup, dinnerware, lint rollers and lo and behold Windex!

Oh, wait, we forgot tickets to the circus, to see “North America’s only all-kid troupe!”

And copies of Leeza Gibbons’s memoir, Take 2: Your Guide to Happy Endings and New Beginnings!

Of course there are pricier goods as well but wow! This year’s swag bags are really a letdown compared to previous years’.

Well, the goodies include:

Vampire Facelift, a cosmetic procedure that involves re-injecting gel-like substances from the patient’s blood back into the skin (no comments) and costs a whopping $5,000!

$10,000 trips to Australia

Skincare products worth hundreds of dollars each

 $625 private training sessions

Gourmet chocolates etc.

It’s probably all IRS’ fault for making these gifts taxable. The celebrities in recent years have been donating these bags straight away to avoid being taxed.

Ah well, all that is awesome must come to an end! But of course, the end is in a distant future. Even $45000 worth of goodies are good enough for us!

Can we please share?

Carbonated.TV