Stephen Colbert: The Census Bureau Is Like A Drunk Boyfriend (VIDEO)


Stephen Colbert doesn’t like The Census Bureau and he has made it quite clear in the latest episode of his show, The Colbert Report.

“You hear that Census Bureau. Only population count, you don’t have the right to my personal information that belongs to Facebook,” said a mockingly emotional Stephen Colbert.

The host agreed with Congressman Jeff Duncan (R-SC) that the government through The Census Bureau doesn’t hold the right to the invasion of privacy of its citizens:

Jeff Duncan knows this is really a privacy issue explaining right now The Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don’t respond, the government shows up at their door and threatens them with a fine. Americans are fed up with these mandatory census surveys and they are asking us to stop the harassment.”

Colbert then made a very unlikely comparison of The Census Bureau saying:

 “Every year they show up on our porches to demanding personal information. It’s like a drunk ex-boyfriend.”

He then made assumptions as to why the government conducts the Census survey each year:

Folks the government says, Census information is necessary for distributing government services but the real plans for this information are anybody's guess, or everybody's guess, because according to reports published in the highly prestigious the internet. Census data could very well be used to make a database of gun owners for confiscation or the direct U.N. troops where to kick in your door or for something even more sinister, like tracking the corn harvest, terrifying, it's like that horror movie aggregate yield of the children of the corn. Besides, besides, we don't need to count corn. I’m pretty sure at this point Monsanto has genetically engineered corn so much it can count itself.”

Congressman Duncan is in favor of some information, saying, as a former small business owner, i recognize that some economic data gathering is beneficial, however, it should be voluntary, industry-driven and not mandated by the government under penalty of law.”

We get what you are trying to say here Mr. Colbert.

You can watch the full segment in the video above.

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