Texting someone you find attractive is scary. The thought of them not replying is even scarier.
At least once in our life, we have all been guilty of staring longingly at our phone screens, hoping it would light up with a new message. Since the texting part in any modern relationship is rather crucial, it’s only natural that most of us feel disappointed if the person we like is a few hours too late to get back to us.
Researchers have been working long and hard to determine the complex truths about love and affection. Although they have not been able to figure out every important aspect, they have actually managed to narrow them down. Experts describe some of the best ways, to approach someone you are interested in via text messages.
1. Don’t Wait Two Days Before Replying
Just remember, if it’s hard for you, it’s not easy for them either.
Dating columnist Dr. Nerdlove believes that you should always reply sooner rather than later. If you sit around and wait for them to send you another text, there is a chance they will either forget about you or assume you are not interested. The same goes for the first texts, as experts claim texting someone the same day you met them helps you solidify yourself in their memory.
2. Don’t Just Say “Hello”
Texting someone “hi” might seem harmless, but it actually conveys more than you realize.
Dr. Eric Klinenberg, professor of sociology at New York University, and comedian Aziz Ansari teamed up to decipher the modern dating landscape while writing the book Modern Romance. The duo organized hundreds of focus groups and found out that the “hey” text is a bad idea, since it makes the recipient feel like they’re not very special or important while making the sender seem the same way — dull and boring.
3. Don’t Send Meaningless Texts
Even if you don’t consider yourself extremely creative, try and make your conversation exciting.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Vanessa Marin said, “Make specific plans. It’s easy to make a vague commitment via text, like, ‘let’s talk Friday about doing something this weekend.’ If you’re genuinely interested in the person, suggest a specific day and time for your date.”
Basically, make plans, but remember not to use all the icebreakers during your online interactions.
4. Don’t Be Too Pushy
Refrain from texting some relentlessly. Give them space to breath.
Just because the person you’re texting with didn’t answer right away, it doesn’t mean they’ll never answer you.
“Unless the two of you are already having a conversation, having moved from online dating to texting, for example or from when you met — text sparingly,” an expert columnist revealed. “If a conversation starts, great. If not, don’t stress it. Some people don’t text much... If you are already talking, follow the flow of conversation. Don’t try to force it; if things taper off, let them. It’s much easier to make someone lose interest by being too pushy.”
5. Keep Your Grammar And Vocabulary In Check
Grammar matters a lot more than you probably realize.
Ansari and Klinenberg found during their focus group interviews that most participants considered bad grammar and spelling a turn off.
Similarly, researchers suggest that using periods at the end of your messages can make them seem “too final” and insincere, while an exclamation point has been shown to make messages seem more sincere.
And the most important of them all:
6. Know When To Stop Texting
If your crush isn’t responding back, dating expert Joan Actually suggests to send them a text that doesn’t need to be answered — like, “On my way to the water park. So excited!” If they reply back with a question or even just acknowledge it, they’re probably still interested. If not, then it might be time for you to move on.
"One unreturned text could be tech problems," the columnist explained. "Two unreturned texts could be bad luck or someone being busy. Three unreturned texts is a message. Move on."