For any aspiring writers/journalists out there, I have some great news: You no longer need to have any talent to do your job. Instead, all you need to do to guarantee journalistic gold is to inform the world of the ongoing plight that is the Millennial. But what’s that, you say you don’t have any facts of real understanding of Millennials? No problem! Instead, just use this handy-dandy Millennial Mad-Lib and you’ll be well on your way!
What is it with Millennial these days? Why are they so (negative adj)? is it because they got too many (type of award)’s as a kid? Or is it because mom and dad’s (noun) is just too (adj) to resist?
Every Millennial stems from a (number) million-dollar home with a (number)-car garage and (number)-dozen maids and waiters on beck and call. A Millennial spends her life like she’s (Disney Princess): totally uninterested in her (noun) or the (big noun) at large. Instead, the Millennial spends all his time an energy on (Facebook/Twitter/Youtube), (Facebook/Twitter/Youtube), or (Instagram).
Over (number) million Millennial claim they would rather (unpleasant activity) than find a job. They claim this is because they would rather (menial activity) than give back to (over-arching group). Millennial don’t care about (current hot-button political issue) they’d rather chat about (popular TV drama). Millennials know nothing about (lesser well-known political issue) but can tell you all the latest news regarding (Miley Cyrus).
But this isn’t all the Millennial’s fault, we must also blame (over-arching group) for how they have failed our (synonym for “Millennial”). After all, it is the parents that (verb you would do to a baby) their own children that makes them so (negative adj) and (entitled).
The Millennial is surely a sign that our (large area) will soon (scary threat from the New Testament). That is, unless Millennials (vague demand).
(One last snide remark, preferably referencing Miley Cyrus again.)
Enjoy your new position as editor of the Boston Globe.