Need A Valentine's Day Date? Try One Of These Very Specific Websites

Finding a date can be hard, and it always stings that much more on Valentine's Day. Don't fret, though, you may fall into one of these very specific categories.

Valentine's Day approacheth, and if you are feeling the acute lack of a valentine, you might want to check out one of these very specific dating sites. These sites cater to very specific preferences and groups, so that you can start with at least one major box checked. Good luck!

Farmers Only

As a city-folk, who, according to the ad, "just doesn't understand," I am charmed by Farmer's Only. Not necessarily the farmers themselves, just the whole concept. I first became aware of Farmers Only through their commercial that looked like a country music video, but they also have this much folksier one, featuring talking farm animals.

What's wrong with city folk? According to Farmers Only, one farmer tried meeting people on a big dating site and, "They wanted to meet at 9:00 p.m. for a cup of coffee when she would typically be preparing (going to bed) for the next day, which started at 5:00 a.m. Caffeine at that hour was the last thing she needed!"

One reason to be skeptical: Farmers Only's homepage shows a grid of 28 single farmers...but it's actually more like 18 unique people because most faces are repeated. Surely you guys can come up with 28 distinct farmers to display?

Mullet Passions

Normal-haired people just wouldn't understand! Okay, that's not their slogan, but it might be more true than it is for the farmers. If you have or appreciate mullets, look no further. You can browse by mullet style or preferred recreational activities, including "wrestling, country music or monster trucks." Rock on.


Not into mullets? Maybe you prefer a sleek, clean design, user-friendly interface...Mac products lover? Then Cupidtino is for you. Named after Cupertino, the city in California where Apple headquarters is located, Cupidtino is for people whose top priority in a mate is someone who will totally understand when you complain about the new iPhone interface.

Sea Captain Date

For lonely sailors, lovers of the ocean and people with particular fantasies (amirite?). Like all dating sites with a commercial, the commercial is awesome:

This whole thing is hilarious and quotable, but it's hard to top "My mistress may be the sea, but that's just an expression. There ain't really no sex involved." Also, "so I logged onto one of them computer terminals and I googled the internet." Wait, it keeps getting better: "These people at Sea Captain Date "the f*ck" dot com..."

Caleb, a.k.a. CudleeBear, is taken now ladies (by MissTaco81), but avast, there are more lonely sea captains out there!


If you read the last description and thought, "why command and operate a boat when I could just stay home and get high?" then we have the site for you. 420Dating is for stoners to find each other. The "About Us" and "FAQ" sections are both blank, but whatever man, you get the idea.


For the cat lovers. The best part of the site is the introductory video which comes on automatically. It's the founder, holding a large cat, talking about how Purrsonals is "purrfect" for cat lovers and you can share your "purrsonality" for free. As a cat lover myself, I could tell that the cat she was holding was annoyed by the flipping of the end of its tail.

The Atlasphere

If you guessed what this one is for, this one might be for you: Ayn Rand devotees. Unlike most dating sites, The Atlasphere features the book and movie reviews of its members, which is kind of cool. Not to be snooty, but if you are an Ayn Rand devotee, there's nothing wrong with that, but if you are an Ayn Rand devotee that can't shut up about Ayn Rand, then it's probably best that you find someone who is happy to listen.


This one I can't take lightly. I happen to be a known salad lover myself, so while I appreciate the sentiment of SaladMatch, there are some things I have to quibble with. First of all, SaladMatch is a dating site that works in concert with the salad chain "Just Salad." I could be underestimating Just Salad, but I don't know if they have the popularity or a specific enough niche to inspire a dating community on its own. Second: the video. I'm not finding an easy way to embed it, so you'll have to watch it on the site. Obviously it's hokey and low-budget, and that's all fine, but the whole idea is that this site matches people on their favorite salad ingredients, right? So, the girl in the video goes to order her salad, and she says, "the arugula looks really good, I'll have that plus some spinach and romaine." That's three types of leafy greens, the second two of which would dilute the power of the arugula. The salad maker then proceeds to ignore this and makes a salad with lots of other stuff.

That said, I hope SaladMatch is a rollicking success. The world needs more salad lovers. Moving on.


This one I find weird and futuristic. You upload a picture of your face to the site, not just so that people can check you out, but so the site can analyze your facial structure and match you with someone who looks a lot like you. A little spooky, right? But maybe brilliant. Couples do often look very similar to each other, why not streamline the process? I mean, once you have matching faces, then you just have to worry about compatible personalities.


Goths and vampires (by which I'm just going to assume we mean people who dress up as vampires) might not have a local scene to show off their piercings and spiky hair. Never (ever) fear, Vampersonals is a hub for goths to find each other and vamp out together.

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