Your Butt Knows All About The Future And Here Are The People Who Can Read It

Did you know that your posterior might hold the key to your future?

Did you know that your posterior might hold the key to your future?

Well, if it does, you will not be able to crack the code. For that you need a rumpologist, whose job it is to look at your rear end and predict what life has in store for you.

No, we did not make that up.  

According to ‘experts’ the art of rump reading was practiced in ancient Babylon, India, Greece and Rome. Ancient Greeks thought the derriere was the key to health and fidelity, while the Romans used prints of the gluteus maximus (an esteemed term for the butt) to unearth the owners’ potential talents and predict their future.  

Wikipedia defines it as “a pseudoscience akin to physiognomy, performed by examining crevices, dimples, warts, moles and folds of a person's buttocks in much the same way a chirologist would read the palm of the hand.”

According to the website of Jacqueline Stallone, an expert in the art of butt reading, the right buttock represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left represent the right hemisphere, The space between the two represents the division of ying/yang, good/bad, light/darkness, between your past(the left cheek) and your future (the right cheek).


Sam Amos, another expert in the field says "It tells me about the character of a person, the good points and the bad points."

She recently did a reading of actress Kelly Brook's bottom on a show and predicted the celebrity would move to America and start a new relationship.

"Kelly went through a big transition last year – a painful one – and I think she's now ready for a new romance in her life," she said.

According to Amos the right cheek tells ‘all the past things, the left cheek tells all the future things."

In ancient days, apart from a personal, on hand observation, dyes were put on the rear end and the person sat on a surface like paper, parchment or skin and the print was used to do the reading.

Nowadays, fortunately, one can get away with a digital photo.

Here are some celeb gluteus maximus for a go at amateur Ass-trology:

Tina Fey




Jessica Biel

David Beckham


J Lo



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