Oh, yes. It’s been about six months since the teen “butt chugging” incident took our fragile nation by storm, so it’s now time for our bi-annual panic regarding what those crazy teens are up to these days. This time, the crisis is teens “smoking alcohol”, Basically, teens are finding ways to vaporize alcohol and then smoke it. It's as dumb as it sounds.
The “teen crisis” mad-lib here can fill you in on all the alarmist details. Get out your Bingo cards, because all of your favorite hyperbolic buzz terms are present:
Your teenager has seen it on Youtube
It looks like a game
There are no hard numbers yet on how many kids have ended up in the hospital from smoking alcohol (Billions?!?!)
Look, kids, don’t smoke alcohol. I don’t even know how someone without at least a Masters in Chemistry could vaporize booze in a way that doesn’t turn it into a cleaning agent, but I digress.
Back in high school, my friends and I had a risk-management strategy called “one stupid idea at a time”. Underage drinking is stupid. Vaporizing random things and smoking them is stupid. Driving fast, breaking things, stealing things, etc. are all also stupid. The key is, if you only do one stupid thing at a time, the odds of death are much lower. Smoking alcohol mixes two stupid ideas which makes the whole thing a no-go from this safety expert.
Unfortunately, silly articles like these are guaranteed to make the “alcohol smoking” epidemic branch out more than any stupid Youtube video can. A bunch of kids will probably try it, it’ll burn their lungs like hell, and they’ll never do it again.