Blogger Amanda Lauren recently tied the knot with her beau, Ethan Kass.
While she should be enjoying newlywed bliss, she’s actually under fire for some questionable comments she wrote about sustaining a happy marriage.
Lauren posted an article on her blog titled, “Staying Hot for My Husband is Essential to a Successful Marriage.”
The title alone is problematic, but what’s worse is that within the essay she vowed to “stay hot” for her husband and to “keep trying to look and feel” her best for him.
“But one of the most important things I do to make him happy is to be the woman of both his fantasies and reality,” Lauren wrote.
Lauren’s blog is the appropriate place for her to share her personal opinion no matter how unpopular it may be, but that didn’t stop readers from criticizing the negative message she’s sending to women.
"Having an attractive wife makes him happy. They say 'happy wife, happy life,' but I’m happiest when my husband is happy" she wrote.
Essentially, readers who opposed Lauren’s view felt that reducing the success of your marriage down to “staying hot” places too much value on external appearances and inadvertently shames women who may have gained some weight or grown a few gray hairs into believing they aren’t keeping their husbands happy.
By making some of the superficial points she mentions in her blog post, she’s perpetuating unfair standards set by patriarchal culture.
Lauren emphasized that she was simply speaking from her perspective about her own marriage. "This is what works for my own marriage," she said. “I think I will feel the same way in 40 years.”
Although Lauren is confident she will feel this way for years to come, it’s still possible that her views may shift along her journey.
One reader commented in a way that doesn’t attack her for her opinion, but expressed hope that her husband isn't pressuring her with those expectations.
"I appreciate the vow to stay hot for your husband,” he wrote. “I hope your husband appreciates that you shouldn't need to do it.”
After receiving so much negative backlash, Lauren took the initiative to add an author’s note at the end of her post to snap back at haters:
“Whether or not you agree with me, my essay was my opinion and my thoughts. Everyone is entitled to their feelings whether or not they are right, wrong, politically correct, politically incorrect, the result of patriarchal society or not. The truth is that people are never going to stop doing things they believe will make them look and feel better. I don’t think people will ever stop trying to do things to make their partners happy either. I do what works for me. And just because it’s not how you choose to live your life, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. We all need to do what makes us happy with ourselves. For some of us, it’s self-care (and all the things that fall under that umbrella), or never letting the laundry pile up, or reading a book every month, or making time to garden.”
Banner Photo Credit: Facebook/New Idea Magazine