5 Reasons To Let Texas Secede

by
Owen Poindexter
More and more people are signing a petition to let Texas secede from the United States. Here are 5 reasons to let the Texans have their wish.

A petition asking the United States to allow Texas to secede from the nation is moving toward 100,000 signatures. Here are 5 Reasons To Let Texas Secede:

1.      They Want To. Well at least some of them want to. Over 76,000 people have signed a petition asking the U.S. government to let Texas secede. Not all of them are from Texas, but surely many in the deep red state would love the opportunity would love to leave this currently light blue country.

2.      Liberals Want Them To. Hey, bipartisan agreement! If Texas seceded and took its 38 electoral votes with it, Republicans would have no choice but to tack to the left to remain competitive in the 49 United States. Without Texas, Romney would have managed only 168 electoral votes, barely half of Obama’s 332.

3.      It Would be a Haven for Tea Partiers Everywhere. Think Barack Obama is a terrorist Muslim Kenyan socialist? Road trip! Texas’ population would get an influx of conservatives crying tears of joy to be under the leadership of President (or perhaps Grand Poobah) Rick Perry.

4.      We Could Settle The Left-Right Debate. Just kidding, that won’t ever be settled (or at least not in the way where someone says “You are right, I was wrong.”) But it would provide competing models of governance. Conservative Texas with its low taxes and relative lack of social programs vs. Liberal America with heavy government involvement in education and healthcare. Given Texas’ oil per capita, it might not be a fair fight, but it would make great fodder for debate.

5.      The Comedic Potential of Texas Sheriffs Asking Hipsters for Their Papers Because They Don’t Look Like Texans. The country of Texas would undoubtedly have some sort of Arizona-style law that allowed law officers to stop anyone who didn’t look like a Texan. While some people would come to Texas for ideological reasons, others would come looking for a job. They might even sneak across the border from, say, New Mexico, or maybe shaggy snowboarders would come down from Colorado. “That’s some funny looking hair, son. You from around here?”

 

Image: Reuters

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