From Moats To Walls: Document Reveals Federal Plans For Increased White House Security

The Secret Service better amp up their act before federal commission resorts to these measures.

PasteWhite House Security Plans

The number of security breaches in the White House have sky rocketed over past few months.

From a toddler slipping in through the security gates to a mailman landing his Gyrocopter on the front lawn, the Secret Service doesn’t seem to be doing an ideal job when it comes to the protection of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. In fact, they are quite incompetent with their protocols.

In order to strengthen the security at the Obamas’ resident, a federal commission recently came together to brainstorm possible adoptive measures. Unlike from what one would expect from a group of such highly qualified individuals, the plans they proposed were rather impractical. Truth be told, all the ideas ranged from being slightly illogical to highly medieval.

NBC 4 Washington received the copy of internal memo by U.S. Commission of Fine Arts, titled “Permanent Fence Improvements Study.”

These are the top 10 recommendations – that were considered but rejected – by the commission.

1. Topographic Changes:

The deciding commission rejected the proposal because of a possible rodent infestation. Their other fear was that the changes might provide a location for trash to accumulate.

2. Solid Wall:

The sole reasoning behind the rejection of this basic and extremely simplistic idea was the fact that it will block public’s view of the White House – because beauty is the foremost concern, even more so than the security.

Check Out: Daily Show Suggests Slippery Steps, Hot Doorknobs And Feathers To Protect The President

3. Chain-Link Fence:

The idea was dropped because it was visually unappealing and the fence could be easily cut off. Not to mention, it was a little too plain for the White House.

4. Barbed Wire:

The National Planning Commission had the most perfect response to this one. They didn’t want to make the property look like a prison facility.

5. Dense Tree Barrier:

Apart from being highly dangerous from security officers’ point of view, it would have blocked public’s view of the Capitol Lawn, which seems like the primary concern of this committee.

6. Non-Drying Paint/Anti Grip:

“Negative pedestrian interaction” was the reasoning behind the rejection of this bizarre proposal. High maintenance was another concern.

7. Electric Fence:

This potentially hazardous recommendation was dismissed due to the risk of malfunction. Also, it would have been pretty useless in case of electricity loss.

8. Low Plantings:

It went against Park’s Environmental Plan and contradicted the historic landscape. Rodent infestation was also an issue.

9: Low Entangled Plantings:

The reason for the rejection of this idea wasn’t much different from the ones mentioned above. Moreover, it would be difficult to look after shrubbery, according to the decision making commission.

10. A Moat:

This was perhaps the most medieval and absurd recommendation on the list. What century do we live in again?

However, the committee did not reject it because it was so old-timey; they rejected it because of maintenance concerns and the fact that it would be hard to retrieve an intruder from the moat. 

Fortunately, all of these peculiar plans were rejected in the favor of adding half-inch steel spikes on the White House fence.

The National Capital Planning Commission is expected to approve the changes in a meeting on May 7.

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