Andrew W.K. Sent To Bahrain By State Department To Spread Partying (visual aids provided)

by
Owen Poindexter
Partying is a global cause for rocker Andrew W.K., who was appointed by the State Department as "Cultural Ambassador to the Middle East" and sent to Bahrain to spread partying and world peace.

Today’s top reason to party hard: rocker Andrew W.K. has been appointed by the State Department as “Cultural Ambassador to the Middle East,” and will be invited to the island nation of Bahrain to promote “partying and world peace.” The rocker who has inspired hard partying around the globe with songs like “Party Hard” and “Party All Goddamn Night,” said on his website that, “We will unite the human race with love and partying.”

This is probably causing a paradigm shift in your mind right now, so let’s break this down with some visual aids:

Andrew W.K.

was appointed by the state department

to go to Bahrain

and promote this:

Governing is so often a dreary business, but appointing Andrew W.K. to Secretary of Partying is the sort of thing that makes teenagers want to be president. Which is to say that it is definitely the rockingest news you will hear today.

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