Bloomberg Businessweek Cover Makes Completely Unnecessary Innuendo

by
Owen Poindexter
Bloomberg Businessweek is one of the big names in business news. People look to it for hard-hitting, but readable journalism on the business trends of today and tomorrow. And, um, here’s their most recent cover:

Bloomberg Businessweek is one of the big names in business news. People look to it for hard-hitting, but readable journalism on the business trends of today and tomorrow. And, um, here’s their most recent cover:

I can just picture the board meeting: “Okay guys, our cover story is on the hedge fund market and how people think it’s great, but really it’s on a serious downward trajectory.”

“Is this really a good cover? Bloomberg wants to be exciting and cutting edge. How would we do that with a disappointing hedge fund market. This is like the cockblock of Bloomberg cover stories.”

“Wait! I just had an idea!”

This, however, is not an isolated incident. Bloomberg Business Week has been using weird sexual images to sell magazines for a while now (and obviously they’re not alone). Here are some of Bloomberg’s more titillating covers.

bloomberg, bloomberg business week, bloomberg cover

Okay, overtly sexual, but it is a story about sex. Sure, they wouldn't have led with this if it wasn't so alluring, but at least it is a story about the business of affairs. They can claim that the imagery was relevant to the story. Not like, say, this high-flying gem:

Hmmm, how shall we display the happy merging of Continental Airlines and United Airlines? Bloomberg Businessweek has the answer: planes making love in the sky. Couldn't they at least do it on the ground? Don't they know anything about safe plane sex?

Okay, this image is relevant to the story, but how far did Bloomberg Businessweek have to stretch to run a cover on snapchat?

You know, I actually give them a pass on this one. They could have gone for something actually sexy. This looks like a representation of porn drawn by a children's book illustrator.

But back to the unnecessarily phallic current cover. It's just unnecessary. Does the sexual metaphor tell us anything about the hedge fund market? Do we think hedge funds are ready to procreate, but really they lack the virility? Nah. I think the Bloomberg Businessweek design team drew the graphs and then said, hey, y'know what that looks like? And someone else said, well there is precedent.

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