Sometimes all you need to do to parody someone's words or ideas is to repeat them. Stephen Colbert gave that treatment to Georgia Republican National Committee Chairperson Sue Everhart, who felt the need to opine out loud on gay marriage, saying that it's not natural because, "if it was natural, they would have the equipment to have a sexual relationship."
This has become the last refuge for the anti-gay marriage movement: romantic relationships should be able to produce kids. If having sex means zero chance of having kids, your marriage is unnatural, and should therefore be illegal. Never mind that this is the case for many straight relationships. Anyone want to make a case for outlawing sterile marriage? Post-menopausal marriage? Condoms? Okay, anyone other than Team Rick Santorum?
But Sue Everhart doesn't just believe that gay marriage is unnatural, she thinks the whole thing is an elaborate fraud.
"You may be as straight as an arrow, and you may have a friend who is as straight as an arrow...Say you had a great job with the government with this wonderful health plan. I mean, what would prohibit you from saying that you're gay, and y'all get married and still live as separate but get all the benefits?...There is no way that this is about equality. To me, this is all about a free ride."
I don't think Everhart has thought this one all the way through. If straight people were so set on marrying to get on their friends' health plans, why wouldn't they be doing that now? You know, with the legal, currently recognized opposite sex marriages? In Everhart's worldview, apparently, not only does no one have romantic feelings toward the same sex, no one has unromantic friendships with the opposite sex. And a group of conniving straight people are willing to orchestrate a massive and expensive scheme to increase the number of options they have to get better health care.
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