Halloween Ruiner To Give Treat Or Treaters Letter Saying They Are Obese

by
Owen Poindexter
Some trick-or-treating children in Fargo will come home with a letter saying they are too fat to be eating all this candy. A woman is taking it on herself to dampen the Halloween cheer in the name of getting her town to shape up so their kids won’t be so fat.

halloween letter, halloween letter, kids too fat, obese,
This Halloween, instead of candy, some kids will get a letter from a concerned mom informing the kids parents that their child if "moderately obese" and that the parents should "step up" and ration out their candy. PHOTO: Ingo Rickman, CC License

Some trick-or-treating children in Fargo will come home with a letter saying they are too fat to be eating all this candy. A woman is taking it on herself to dampen the Halloween cheer in the name of getting her town to shape up so their kids won’t be so fat.

Here’s the text of the letter (which also includes a Jack-o-lantern picture, because it is Halloween after all):

“Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor!

You are probably wondering your child has this note: have you ever heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”? I am disappointed in “the village” of Fargo Moorhead, West Fargo.

You [sic] child is, in my opinion, moderately obese, and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.

My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.

Thank you.

If we are to take the letter at face value, it won’t be handed out to every kid who comes to her door this Halloween, just the ones who are “moderately obese.” Nice of her to put in that modifier. One wonders if she has a separate letter for kids that have passed moderation and have become fully obese, with no room for words like “moderately.”

Really, it’s the other 364 days that America needs to worry about its sugar intake. Holidays are about excess (at least the ones that America has latched on to). Making Halloween suck for fat kids isn’t a solution, rationing candy in general will. So will giving your kid something nutritious that isn’t made of sugar and chemicals, those exist too, y’know.

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