How To Make A Quick $8 Million: Learn Fox News’ Secrets, Then Get Paid To Keep Them

by
Owen Poindexter
Word has leaked that Brian Lewis, former top aide to Fox News President Roger Ailes, received $8 million in severance money, after being abruptly fired last summer.

fox news, brian lewis, roger ailes
What are your secrets Roger Ailes? Brian Lewis has been paid $8 million to not tell us. PHOTO: ThinkProgress, CC License

Word has leaked that Brian Lewis, former top aide to Fox News President Roger Ailes, received $8 million in severance money, after being abruptly fired last summer. In exchange for his $8 million, Lewis will not spill the nefarious secrets of Fox News, whatever those are. The New York Times reported that Lewis’ severance deal with Fox News explicitly includes a non-disclosure agreement regarding Fox News’ secrets:

“A former colleague and current worker at the channel — who spoke on the condition of anonymity out of fear of being fired — revealed two weeks ago that Mr. Lewis had agreed to a deal that would pay him a sizable sum to remain quiet about whatever he knows about operations at the notoriously secretive company.”

One day we are going to find out a whole lot of insane, sordid dirt on Fox News. It won’t be from Brian Lewis and his 8 million dollar bills, but big secrets can’t stay secrets forever. Some disgruntled employee with less to gain than Lewis will spill the beans one of these days.

My guess: spying. Hacking phone and email records of notable figures, especially Democrats, for juicy gossip. It fits Fox News’ twin purposes, which are to make money and to support the Republican Party, and a major Rupert Murdoch news source (News of the World) has already been caught doing this.

That’s just a guess, however. The truth really could be anything. If there’s one thing we know about Fox News, it’s that you should never doubt their capacity to shock and amaze.

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