Kim Jong-Un May Have Executed Aquarium Manager After Baby Turtles Died

by
Indrani Sengupta
While his nation's people starve, Kim Jong-Un avenges the deaths of a handful of baby turtles by executing more people. We couldn't have imagined a more greater travesty of evil.

An unnamed source in Pyongyang reports that the manager of a commercial turtle farm in Taedonggang was just put to death by a displeased Kim Jong-Un. It appears North Korea's “benevolent” ruler has a soft spot for baby terrapins (a small species of turtle), and was livid that several dozens at this particular farm had starved to death.

Kim Jong-un's propaganda

The farm staff tried to explain that this was the unhappy result of electrical, equipment, and water shortages well outside of their control, but Jong-Un dismissed these claims as “nonsensical,” accused the manager of willfully refusing to provide sufficient water to the hapless hatchlings, and sentenced him to death by shooting. He also rebuked the remaining staff, just in case having one of their crew sentenced to death wasn't traumatizing enough.

kim jong un executions

A few news agencies have pointed out the depressing irony behind the sentencing: killing a man for failing to keep a scad of infant animals alive. Lamenting the starvation of turtles while his nation's people starve in silence. It's very clear that any electrical, equipment, food and/or water shortages that contributed to the terrapin deaths were a consequence of none other than Jong-Un's own prodigious incompetence.

North Korea's Kim Jong-Un executes farmer

But none of that matters to KJL himself. The source suggests that the manager would have died regardless of any turtle fatalities. Jong-Un would have found any excuse to make an example out of him, as he has done with several of his high-ranking officials.

North Korea's Kim Jong-Un

Note: Usually reports from an “unnamed North Korean source” would cause our spidey senses to tingle with immense skepticism, but this is Kim Jong-Un we're talking about. Are we ever surprised when he executes X for Y reason? If any North Korean aquarium managers have survived this week unscathed, how long do we expect their “good fortune” to continue?

Terrapin farm boss 'executed by Kim Jong Un'

Take your worst nightmare of incompetent, cruel tyranny, then caricature it. Kim Jong-Un is the result.

Read more: Kim Jong-Un Can – And Will – Execute You For Doing Any Of These Things

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