London Firefighters Brace for Fifty Shades of Grey-related Bondage Accidents

by
Jessica Renae Buxbaum
London firefighters brace for a wave of bondage accidents after the release of Fifty Shades of Grey this Friday.

Firefighters in London

London firefighters warned today of a surge in bondage-related accidents after the release of Fifty Shades of Grey this Friday. The firefighters told the London Evening Standard they have seen a reported increase in bondage accidents since the book’s release in 2011, citing “472 cases of people being trapped or stuck, often in household items” in 2013 and 2014.

The London Fire Brigade said it receives calls at least once every day regarding a BDSM experiment gone wrong – including a man with his genitals stuck in a vacuum cleaner.

One such mishap required the firefighters to help doctors at King’s College Hospital remove two steel rings from a man’s penis that were stuck there for three days. The firefighters used hydraulic cutting equipment to free the man.

Dave Brown, Third Officer of the London Fire Brigade, urged the public to use common sense and only use the emergency number for legitimate emergencies.

I don’t know about you but getting your genitals stuck in something certainly screams emergency to me, but maybe the more appropriate takeaway here is to exercise good judgment – especially in the bedroom.

Carbonated.TV