Sale Fail: The Most Ridiculous Amazon Prime Day “Deals”

Amazon knows you need this decorative shoehorn. What? These weren't the "deals" you had in mind? Well if you're going to cry, here's 78% off lavender-scented Kleenex tissues.

amazon Prime Day

“Prime Day.” We had such high hopes for you. We put off buying that USB cable, biology textbook, and/or 8-pack of undies—just so that we could make the most of you. And all for naught. 

It's July 15th, the promised day, and would-be Amazon shoppers are ticked off in the way only people expecting a solid shopping experience can be. Doesn’t sound too bad? Think about Black Friday, and how a little bit of customer competition so often turns literally violent.

Amazon #PrimeDay Sales

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Turns out the Black Friday battledome analogy isn’t unwarranted. Amazon had itself promoted the 24-hour "Amazon Prime Day" sale with the promise of “more deals than Black Friday,” and major sales in electronics, home appliances, and baby products. People were pumped.

Amazon Prime Day

Turns out the site’s “Lightning Deals” were more “halfhearted drizzle.”

Here are some of the most facepalm-worthy deals Amazon attempted to shill as “dynamite offers.”

1) Walkmans, which haven’t been in vogue since, like, 1992.

Walkmans, Amazon Prime Day DEALS

2) Airplane seat belt extenders

Airplane seat belt extenders, Prime Day sale

Among the Amazon prime deals today: an airplane seat belt extender (71% claimed). "Oh, I brought my own, thanks."
— Meg Nesterov  (@thenotoriousmeg July 15, 2015

Recommended: 5 Boring Products That Amazon Commenters Had A Field Day With

3) Antarctic krill oil

4) A shoehorn

5) "Beard growther"

6) Automatic can openers

Automatic can openers, 'Prime Day' sales for Amazon

7) Chef hats

Chef hats, Amazon Prime Day fail

8) Menopause pills

9) This decorative frog

10) Dog muzzles

11) And balaclavas

On the plus side, the debacle has led to some “prime” (get it?) Twitter humor:

Amazon Prime Day 2015

Amazon has responded to the backlash with a show of consummate denial:

“Prime Day has been exciting so far.”

It’s also insisted that pelting the public with underwhelming deal was the intention all along, to weed out the weak and undeserving or something?

"We have years of experience with these types of events and we stagger the deals to make sure the fun will last through tonight."

In Amazon’s defense, the better deals were devoured in the blink of an eye.

But we put that caveat at the end because #AmazonFailDay (we thee dub) is not a day for mercy. 

Read more: Hilarious Marketing Fails That'll Make You Feel Better About Yourself

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