Scientists Make "Earthshaking" Discovery On Mars

We don't know what it is, but it's on Mars, and it's big enough to shake the Earth. Hopefully not literally.

Scientists claim that they have found something “earthshaking” on Mars, but won’t tell us what it is. They are waiting for permission from our new overlords verification of their results before they make the big announcement, whatever it is. The discovery has come from the SAM instrument (Sample Analysis at Mars), which detected some big news in a soil sample.

"This data is gonna be one for the history books," said John Grotzinger, a Project Scientist at the Mars Science Laboratory. "It's looking really good."

SAM searches for organic material in the Martian soil and atmosphere. Organic material is necessary for life (though not vice versa, which is good because then you’d have a chicken-egg problem).

Here, in decreasing order or likeliness, are some possibilities for what SAM might have found:

1.      Evidence of past life on Mars. Probably not giant creatures wandering around and starting civilizations, but at least little organisms that could reproduce themselves. Hey, you have to start somewhere.

2.      Evidence of present life on Mars. Again, we’re talking microscopic bugs in the soil, but even that would mean that Mars could support life, and there would be hope for evolution toward more complex life forms. You know, millipedes, ants, vermicious knids, that sort of thing.

3.      Evidence of complex life on Mars. Upping the ante! But hey, it’s still possible. We already know of water on Mars, and where there’s water, there’s fish. Sometimes.

4.      Evidence of this:

Scientists are working hard to confirm their findings and will report them as soon as...

UPDATE: It's option 4.

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