Ted Cruz Summarizes His Own Filibuster In One Gruesome Minute

Ted Cruz is in the midst of a long speech about how he opposes Obamacare. For those who don't want to listen to the whole thing, Senator Cruz was courteous enough to provide a one minute clip that contains all the elements of what he is saying.

Ted Cruz (R-Tex) is in the midst of a filibuster (which is not actually a filibuster, explanation in a moment) because he does not like Obamacare. On Wednesday the Senate will vote on the House bill that 1) keeps the government running and 2) defunds Obamacare. Before the final vote, the Democrat-controlled Senate will vote to strip out the “defund Obamacare” part of the legislation. That is what Cruz is “filibustering,” but because he is not actually holding up Senate business, he is simply making a very long speech about why Obamacare is bad.

Read more: Republican Party Gets Republican Partied By Ted Cruz

I tuned in for a while, but it’s painful listening (Cruz has an iffy relationship with facts). Fortunately, Senator Cruz was courteous enough to provide a one minute clip that contains all the elements of what he is saying.

“You go to the 1940s—Nazi Germany,” Cruz begins, ending all speculation over how long it would take him to bring up the Nazis (answer: 25 minutes). “Look we saw in Britain, Neville Chamberlain who told the British people accept the Nazis. Yes they’ll dominate the continent of Europe, but that’s not our problem. Let’s appease them. Why? Because it can’t be done. We can’t possibly stand against them. [long pause] And in America there were voices that listened. I suspect those same pundits who say it can’t be done, if it was the 1940s we’d have been listening to them. It would have been on television. It would have gotten beyond carrier pigeons and it would have been on TV, and they would have been saying, [silly pundit voice] ‘you cannot defeat the Germans.’”

And there you have it: all of Ted Cruz hours-long speech in one nugget. Wildly overblown rhetoric about Obamacare, an utter false equivalency between going to war with the Nazis and somehow willing the Senate to pass a bill defunding Obamacare and then getting Obama to sign away his own signature legislative achievement, long pauses to let the seconds continue to tick by. Throw in a casual historical mistake (carrier pigeons were not in style in the 1940s—print and radio made the kids forget the good old days of transporting a bird from a specific location, tying a note to its foot and having it deliver that note when it instinctively returns to its former home) and you have a microcosm of a Ted Cruz speech. Oh, and let’s not miss the mild implication that mass media would have stopped the U.S. from getting into World War II.

Can’t wait for this guy’s presidential run.

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