You may have heard that there’s a new royal baby. The Royal baby doesn’t have a name yet, but Prince William and Dutchess Kate have spawned an heir to the royal crown! It may take a while, but the new royal baby, thanks to his lucky birth order (and will of God, or something?) is now destined to one day become kind of England; it just may take a little while. The new Royal baby currently sits fourth on the Royal Crown power rankings. To compare, the current fourth in command for US President is perennial TMZ darling, Patrick Leahy. Here’s a breakdown of the three British royalty members the new Royal baby will need to see come and go before he becomes King of England.
1) Queen Elizabeth
Queen Elizabeth is in her late 80’s, which means she could die as soon as tomorrow, or live until she is 140 like some sort of royal robot who has been infused with the angered bone-marrow of Margaret Thatcher. Elizabeth’s mother lived until she was 102 (while nursing a pack-a-day smoking habit I might add), so the current queen could be around longer than the royal baby might hope for.
2) Prince Charles
Once Queen Elizabeth dies, or steps down (so when she dies), Charles will become King of England. Charles is 64, but still holds those smashing good looks that British Royalty is known for. The best thing that ever happened to British Royalty – besides the whole monarchy power thing – was deciding as a group to go from fat, barbarian looking Kings of the past, to a slimmer, more dignified British look that makes them so darn quaint looking.
3) Prince William
Here’s where the rubber hits the Abbey Road for the new Royal Baby. Prince William is just over the age of 30, and looks to enjoy Britain’s revamped health-insurance policies for decades to come. Honestly, the fate of Prince William is the only thing the new Royal Baby needs to worry about. Elizabeth and Charles will come and go as they will, but papa Prince here is the one true road block between the new Royal baby and the Iron…err, British throne.
I’ve been watching Game of Thrones recently, and the Royal family is about as close as society gets to that show in the real world. Now, I’m not saying that the new Royal baby should actively collude to have his elders “removed” in order to guarantee his quick succession. I’m just saying that if he did, it’s not like it would be out of character given the history of the British Royal Family.