Whitehouse Petitioned To “Punch Grover Norquist In The Dick”

A concerned citizen has petitioned the Obama Administration to "punch Grover Norquist" in the dick. At the time of writing, the petition was just three short of the needed 25,000 for official review.

With secession petitions coming from all fifty states, one might worry that the petition function on whitehouse.gov was losing its relevance. Not so! A petition, which, by the time of writing had been signed by 24,997 concerned citizens, (it needs just three more to reach the 25,000 needed for official review by the Obama Administration) calls for “All everyone to punch Grover Norquist in the dick.”

The petitioner elaborates from there:

Peacefully grant the people of the United States of America to have Grover Norquist be brought forth in chains and put in a public pillory.

Once Grover Norquist has been secured, anyone who wishes will be allowed to punch him once, and only once, square in the dick.

Norquist, known for his anti-tax pledge which a large percentage of Republicans in office have signed, nervously awaits the administration’s response.

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