13 Things That Are Even More Useless Than The World Cup Losers Game

Zohaib Ahmed
July 10, 2014: Come again. What's the purpose of the Brazil vs. Netherlands game?

There's a whole bunch of things regarding the game of football and its governing body FIFA that don't make much (if not any) sense to people on this side of the pond.

It's reluctance to adopt modern technology, solve organizational corruption and insistence of awarding major tournaments to ill-equipped countries are just a few of the issues that defy logic and sanity.

This Saturday's World Cup encounter between hosts Brazil and the Netherlands is just a continuation of the senseless/pointless routines that are religiously followed by the beautiful game's ugly governing body. It makes no sense whatsoever to force two teams that have already been dumped out of the competition to play another meaningless game when they'd rather be back home.

To mock the absurdity of this meaningless contest that serves no purpose, here are 13 more things that are just as useless:

Wisdom Teeth

Our forefathers may have used them. We don't.


Finger Tongs

Because food is always so greasy?


Air Conditioned Shoes

Because smelly feet and all...


Every App Facebook Has Ever Created

Facebook, Y U keep on making stupid smartphone apps that don't work?


Noodle Cooler



Portable Clothes Drier

Literally, the most portable one ever.


The Tailbone

Do we have tails? Then why a bone for it?


Lipstick Assistant

Because putting lipstick on is such a difficult task?


Eye Stickers. Enough Said.


Butter Stick

So creative, so artery clogging.


Head-Mounted Toilet Paper Dispenser


Hoodie Pillow

Yep, it's a real thing.


The Appendix

If the human appendix really is useful, then why is everyone taking it out and not dying?

So, if the Netherlands boss Louis van Gaal thinks that the World Cup's third place play-off match makes no sense, so what? The world is full of useless crap.