Football is a strange sport.
For an hour and a half, 22 men chase a single ball with the sole aim of putting it inside a massive 7-meter-wide goal. These guys get more time, more men and bigger goal areas than sportsmen on this side of the pond to perform a simple task, but such is their incompetence that they barely manage to do it once or twice in the entire 90 minutes.
And when they do, it's a big fudging deal. Every time a goal is scored, it results in a frenzy rarely seen in other sports. The goal scorer goes bonkers, the camera zooms on him and it seems everyone in the stadium is urging him to do something truly mind-boggling.
Some of these guys buckle under pressure and indulge in bizarre activities, which then get them in trouble with the referee. Here are seven things a soccer goal scorer should definitely not do after kicking the ball inside the opposition's net:
Miming Snorting of Cocaine
In 1999, Liverpool legend Robbie Fowler was falsely accused of using drugs by his rival team Everton's fans. The next time he scored a goal against them, he bizarrely used the white line of the penalty area to simulate cocaine use. He was banned for four games by the FA, and fined £60,000 by his club for bringing the game into disrepute.
Taking a Selfie
It seems Sporting Kansas City's Dom Dwyer is a few months behind the rest of the world. The selfie fad is so 2013, yet he decided to take one with his teammate Soony Saad and a few fans, which is still OK. The only thing is that he did that immediately after scoring his side's only goal in the 1-1 draw with the Chicago Fire. Those soccer referees aren't too big on social media shenanigans. He was shown a yellow card.
The cost he paid bore this fruit:
Headbutting the Dugout
Earlier this year, Italian lower league side Riolo Terme's striker scored a scrappy goal after a goalkeeping fumble and got so pumped him that he headbutted the players' dugout. The glass broke and he was sent off.
Giving Fascist Salutes
Paolo Di Canio was an excellent footballer but also one of the most controversial ever. In 2006, while playing for Lazio, he scored a brilliant volley against cross-town rivals AS Roma and then made a fascist salute to the right-wing fans. He was fined and suspended as a result.
Celebrating a Goal with The Wrong Fans
It's common to see players rushing to their fans after scoring a goal, but have you seen a player doing the same with the OPPOSITE team's fans?
Togolese striker Emmanuel Adebayor did just that when playing for Manchester City against his former club Arsenal in 2009. Nope, it wasn't about any love either – quite the opposite in fact.
Adebayor scored the goal and ran the entire length of the pitch to celebrate with the Gunners just to mock them for criticizing him during his spell with the club. The stewards struggled to hold on to the crowd of Arsenal fans who at one point looked certain to enter the field and even things with the man they hate. He was yellow-carded.
Mocking Fans of Archrivals in Their Own Stadium
In 2004, Argentine striker Carlos Tevez scored a peach of a goal in a crucial Copa Libertadores tie against fierce archrivals River Plate at their stadium, El Monumental. He then did the chicken dance, clearly mocking the opposite crowd, for which he was shown a straight red card. Seeing their tormentor being sent off brought an immediate smile to the River Plate fans.
Taking Off Shirt and Nazi Salute
Taking off the shirt in goal celebration earns players an automatic yellow card, but add Nazi salutes to it, and you're practically committing career suicide. Greek midfielder Giorgos Katidis did just that last year. He was fined €50,000, banned for playing for his club for the remainder of the season and given a lifetime ban from representing Greece at international level.