Internet Spices Up Dull ESPYs With Hilarious New Categories

Zohaib Ahmed
July 17, 2014: You'd like these new ESPY Award categories, won't you?

It's kind of slim pickings for sports fans these days. The World Cup has ended, the NBA and NFL seasons won't start for another few months, and same is the case with tennis' final grand slam of the year – the U.S. Open. Baseball's gone a bit cold too of late due to the All-Star break.

In the midst of this sports famine comes the ESPY Awards. The 2014 installment of the ESPY’s kicked off in Los Angeles' Nokia Theatre. With not much else going on, fans had no choice but to devote their attention to what is only the second most prestigious award show in the world of sports (Google Laureus). Tsk Tsk!

Anyway, the thing is that when the Internet gives something too much attention, results aren't always pretty. So with the ESPYs being their sole target today, creative heads of Twitter conjured up some new award categories for the event, and as expected, they're funny as hell. Check them out:

Best Murder


Best LeBron James Impersonation


Most Tour de France Disqualifications


Most Awkward Drake Sports Groupie Photo


The Most Racist Owner Award


Most "Totally Not Gay" MMA Submission Hold


Lifetime Achievement Award for Most Logos Worn in One Sitting to Phil Mickelson


Excellence in Inexplicable Luck In The Draft and Free Agency – Cleveland


Scariest Mascot


Most Wimpy Throw


Biggest Photobomber Of The Year – Matt Bonner


Most Romantic on Field Moment


Least Dog-Friendly Sportsman


Pair of Wrestlers Mostly Likely to be Featured on "Dancing With the Stars"


Meanwhile, rumor has it that ESPN's gift bag for ESPY Awards attendees is valued at $23,000 and contains some incredibly cool goodies. No wonder so many stars showed up despite ESPY being ESPY.

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