Late Apple co-founder's profound dislike of styluses was well-documented. He went as far as to tell his biographer, Walter Isaacson that
"as soon as you have a stylus, you're dead."
But Apple is marching to a very different tune now, having just unveiled a new product to accompany its iPad Pro...a stylus.
And they're calling it the Apple Pencil, because when you're shelling out $99 for an accessory that you don't expressly need, you want to be reminded of the fragile sticks that used to break n your elementary school hands.
But enough about the iStickOfDespair. Here's what else Apple premiered in its Apple Event on the eve of the holiday we call Applemas, when we all pay a tithe of our income to the Apple gods of yore.
Next phase of the Apple Watch
- Maps will now offer transit options
New apps such as iTranslate (which translates voice commands into 90 languages)
- and AirStrip (a health-based app medical professionals can use to view patient info, lab results, and more off the patient's wrist, as well as real-time vital signs).
- You can now get a luxury Apple Watch with a leather strap and a special watch face, in case you were hankering for some leather straps and special watch faces.
New color choices such as gold and rose gold. A portion of sales of Apple Watches with the red band will go to AIDS research, which is very cool.
OMG THE ROSE GOLD PLEASE WHY WHO WANTS TO BUY MY OLD APPLE WATCH? pic.twitter.com/Cmu5dhH8Id— Justine Ezarik (@ijustine) September 9, 2015
Next phase of the iPad: the iPad Pro
- It's so, so big guys. We're talking 12.9-inch screen.
This is your iPad. Now this is your iPad on steroids. (12.9" iPad Pro) pic.twitter.com/wmt2NfqQES— Marques Brownlee (@MKBHD) September 9, 2015
So big that it can support a full-sized keyboard
- At what point are we just hauling around a TV?
5.6 million pixels, or 2732 x 2048 resolution.
- The new A9X chip is 1.8 times faster than the one used before, so we're talking "desktop class performance."
A9X chip packed ke dalam iPad Pro! Twice performance of almost everything than the previous one! pic.twitter.com/kZwkjJ77TR— Apple Malaysia (@MalaysiaApple) September 9, 2015
10 hours of battery life. That's more than the average person.
- Also, it's also almost as thin as the iPad Air 2, and it only weighs a little more than the original, smaller, utterly inferior, deserving-to-be-spat-upon iPad.
El iPad Pro estará disponible en las tiendas de Apple el Noviembre en color oro, plateado y gris espacial (negro). pic.twitter.com/tX2nJjcL8M— iphoneros (@iphoneros) September 9, 2015
Apple acts like it just invented the stylus and the Smart Keyboard. Microsoft Surface Pro users collectively facepalm.
Gold, silver, space grey. Gotta catch 'em all.
Next phase of the Apple TV
- Siri's search function is on-point.
New Apple TV remote. Voice + touch — the “siri button” pic.twitter.com/228hyS6dUK— Justine Ezarik (@ijustine) September 9, 2015
- If you miss a line of your show or movie, you can ask Siri "what did she say?" And instead of getting annoyed with you like your S.O. Who is also trying to just watch the show, okay? Siri will turn on captions and replay the scene.
Apple TV time! TV time! pic.twitter.com/5izUTi03Tc— All iPhone (@iPhoneTeam) September 9, 2015
- Now you can start a game on your iPhone and continue on your Apple TV. *Here, Apple assumes that you own all of their products, including the iCouch and the iNintendo.
Next phase of the iPhone: iPhone 6S and 6S Plus
- It's the most advanced of all the iPhones to date, guys, in case you had any doubts and just figured they slapped a new price tag on an old model.
- 5.5 inch display.
- Silver, gold, rose gold, and space grey. We're holding out for neon chartreuse, thanks.
iPhone 6S pic.twitter.com/9P6wyvSZ8l— High Styled Fashion (@highfashionxx) September 9, 2015
- 3D Touch is a new function, meaning that the screen is now so pressure sensitive, it will read your inputs based on how hard or soft you press on it. This will be super cool, until the day it stops working, upon which it will be exponentially more annoying than all previous aging iPhone models. Which is fine, because you'll have a new model ready to buy in no time.
THE ROSE GOLD IPHONE 6S IS SO PRETTY OMG pic.twitter.com/YKcauOw7NW— Typical Girl (@SoDamnTrue) September 9, 2015
- 12 megapixel camera, and 5 megapixel Facetime HD camera.
- Live Photos will let you take 1.5 second clips in place of photos, and use them as your desktop photo.