Wanted! FBI Is Looking For Hackers Who Don't Smoke Weed

May, 21, 2014: If you're a hacker who doesn't smoke weed, you might be a great fit for the FBI.

Fighting fire with fire is perfectly fine in some cases, but one has to be ready to pay the cost that comes with it too.

Fed up of Chinese Army's cyber attacks, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is trying to build up its own team of cyber criminals, but the agency's drug policy is proving to be a bit of a stumbling block in the process. The problem here is that most of the top minds of internet's underworld, hackers, have a liking for weed, and for the FBI, it's mandatory to not have smoked marijuana in the last three years.

The revelation of this bizarre problem was made by FBI director James Comey at the White Collar Crime Institute on Monday. "I have to hire a great work force to compete with those cyber criminals, and some of those kids want to smoke weed on the way to the interview," he said.

Since there’s a dearth of hackers who don’t smoke pot, the bureau is now actively looking into changing and reevaluating its policies on weed.

Does this mean that soon our intelligence agencies will be hiring people who openly indulge in an activity that is still illegal in 50 states? Perhaps.

Those debating the weedy issue should also keep in mind the legality of the work that these people are being hired to do. Intruding on personal computers, exploiting people’s weaknesses and phishing are already pretty illegal, so we find the FBI's insistence on employing hackers as clean as a whistle a tad hypocritical.

The saying 'horses for courses' is very relevant to this situation. To find the right horse for this course, the FBI needs to accept the baggage these guys come with or else the Chinese will keep on handing their cyber-asses to them – metaphorically speaking of course.

View Comments

Recommended For You