Technology Doesn't Get Any Dumber Than This

June 30, 2014: The new technology that could cut public restroom wait time by half is not what it says it is.


The world of technology never fails to amaze us. From hi-tech gadgets to 3D printing, news agencies routinely churn out stories of innovations that are changing our lives. That's exactly why the new invention that has inspired this post makes no sense.

Tooshlights, the new GROUNDBREAKING creation, according to's Andrew Bender, "could cut public restroom wait times by 50 percent."

The idea sounds incredible. Estimates tell us that an average person spends a year and a half of their life in the restroom. So, in this fast-paced world, if there is a way of cutting down the time spent in the crapper, why not take advantage of it?

The thing is that Tooshlights is not at all how Forbes has made it sound. It doesn't magically reduce our urge to answer nature's calls. It doesn't teleport urine directly out of bladders either. Those expecting some sort of vacuum tube that sucks the waste right out of the excretory system will also be disappointed. Tooshlights does no such things.

As its name suggests, this great invention is basically just light bulbs installed outside restrooms in public places like stadiums and parks. They stay green when a restroom is empty and turn red when it's occupied. But it certainly doesn’t reduce our time in the restroom.

“During a 20-minute intermission, mostly at the women’s restrooms, there were lines that would go all the way out the door,” Tooshlights CEO and co-creator Allen Klevens explained."[Meanwhile] there were stalls in the middle that were completely vacant and nobody knew.”

And guess what? The people behind Tooshlights have managed to find people who are testifying that this dazzling new piece of tech works.

"Tooshlights help with privacy as well,” a Hollywood Bowl spokesperson added, “as patrons do not have to check under the stalls for feet or push on the doors to see if a toilet is available.”

Klevens is currently seeking venture capitalists to raise funds and also planning to add NBA, NHL and NFL to his company's clientele – assuming that those leagues' electricians are inept enough to not be able to install simple lights themselves.

Talk about a marketing gimmick? We wonder if Forbes is privy to it.

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