'Best Restaurant In The World' Hilariously Reviewed By A 4-Year-Old

Lauren Burgoon
The French Laundry's three Michelin stars and famous tasting menu don't mean much to Lyla Hogan.

A reservation at the famed restaurant the French Laundry in California is a once in a lifetime treat for many people. The flawless service! The imaginative dishes! The famous Oysters and Pearls course!

Color this 4-year-old unimpressed. 

The Bold Italic has long subjected restaurants to a 4-year-old's searingly honest reviews -- but never before has a toddler gotten a shot at a three-star Michelin restaurant. Until now.

Lyla Hogan, 4, took on the full tasting menu at the French Laundry (price: $295 before any upgrades) and delivered hit reviews of the revered dishes that are putting her on the map as a mini Anthony Bourdain. 

About the summer melon soup: "It tastes like a Tinkerbell popsicle." Believe it or not, that was a rave from Lyla. 

She wasn't impressed with the Jardinière de légumes ("This pepper tastes like babies") or the herb roasted Elysian Fields Farm lamb ("This one isn't delicious.") Oysters and Pearls, the French Laundry's most famous dish, didn't even pass muster. Lyla flat-out refused to try it.

But she gave very high marks for three things: the bread, the ginger ale and "the most elegant bathroom I've ever seen."

The Bold Italic helpfully created a Lyla facial expression report card so future French Laundry customers can learn what's yucky and yummy.

Diners, take note. When you want molecular gastronomic smoke blown up your you-know-what, read a "real" restaurant critic. When you want the blunt truth, ask a 4-year-old.