What will cause humanity’s extinction? Global Warming? War? Super volcanoes? No! It is the lowly banana that will cause death and destruction to all that dare defy the great banana’s vengeful wrath.
OK, maybe bananas won’t destroy the world, but bananas themselves may soon go extinct. In this fascinating Youtube video on bananas, a cheery young man divulges the dark secret of the ominous yellow fruit.
It turns out that the banana, as most fruit fans envision it, isn’t actually a banana. Instead, the classic yellow banana is a genetically modified frankenfruit based off the “real” banana which is no longer grown by farmers. This new genetically-modified banana is the result of careful study into making a disease-resistant fruit. The video makes a great point that bananas lack seeds, which means they disobey the laws of fruit. The “real” bananas have been long since forgone as they have a nasty habit of dying from fungal infections.
A fascinating snippet of the video explains that banana-flavored candy is flavored after old, non-evil bananas. Banana flavored candy is awesome! If there is a real fruit out there that tastes like yellow runts then this is the biggest news story of the day.
OG banana exist somewhere out there, and if that magical candy-banana flavor is possible, then these taste buds must be granted access to such enchanted flavor post-haste.
Surely, this will for the greatest fruit never known belongs to others as well. Let your thoughts on the holy banana be heard, so that we at Carbonated can convince our bosses to pay for a shipment of sketchy, third-world, wild bananas that we can taste test on an upcoming video.