Doritos announced the semi-finalists for their Crash the Super Bowl contest. Fans competed to make a 30 second ad for Doritos. Out of thousands of entries, Doritos has whittled it down to twenty-four. I had previously selected my personal top 10 Doritos ads. The good people at Doritos picked exactly zero of my picks. So let’s look at their choices and see how they stack up.
This one uses the familiar ad trope of people having a little me-time (or we-time in this case) with a song and some Doritos. They get walked in on by another valet, the fun-killer gets shut out, and then they get back to we-time. It’s pretty good, though the third valet’s line isn’t as satisfying as it could be. Still, this one passes the test. Doritos: 1/1.
Like Valet, I wasn’t sure about this one at first, but it won me over at the end. It has just enough going for it: the realistically annoying kid, the kid riding a dog and the cheering mom at the end. Not sure it’s Super Bowl worthy, but we’ll let this one through. Doritos: 2/2.
I had to watch this one twice because at first I thought the first old lady was the Amish mother, which made the ending not make sense. It would have been better if the old lady had used the vending machine before the Amish boy realizes how it works. It’s a clever concept, but we need pretty high standards here, so I’m saying this one falls short. Doritos: 2/3.
A Snack Worth Saving
This one did it for me. It hits every action movie trope and only becomes a Doritos ad with a twist at the last moment. Also, bonus points for the citizen-to-action-hero transformation. Doritos: 3/4.
Really good camera work in this one. Good enough that I can forgive the “Oh grandpa,” line at the end. Doritos: 4/5.
This one has good acting and is effectively over-the-top. It doesn’t try to do too much, which is a rare thing. Doritos is making good choices so far. 5/6.
Most Generous Man
I love the concept of a dance-off style contest, but it’s actually a “most-generous-off.” I actually wasn’t sure about this on the first watch, but now I think it’s brilliant. It’s not so much the most-generous competition as the guys sitting next to them eating whatever Doritos come their way without questioning any of this. Doritos: 6/7
Jim Figures It Out
Damnit Doritos, this post was supposed to be about how my choices were superior to yours. This one might be my favorite so far. Doritos: 7/8
This one could have been good. It does a good job of imitating campy sci-fi movies of yester-generation. The ending doesn’t make sense, however. It was like the lead writer quit after the first 15 seconds of the ad. This one goes in the loss column. Doritos: 7/9.
Meh. If there was some natural connection to eating Doritos and slapping people this might have worked out. Doritos: 7/10.
So, this one uses a really familiar format: reality, Doritos-based fantasy, reality. The fantasy is so weird that it works for me. The Doritos javelin thing cracked me up. I hope this isn’t some sort of weird Rorschach test. Doritos: 8/11.
This one is impressive, but I’m docking points for any ad that implies that Doritos will get you laid. I know that ads aren’t supposed to be realistic (see praise for “Sorry Karl”), but I really don’t need to see another ad that uses the formula of YOU + [CAR/GUM/SHAVING RAZER/WHATEVER] = SEX WITH ATTRACTIVE LADIES. Doritos: 8/12
We’ll let this one through. It skirts the line between dumb and clever (who is this kid with his elaborate plot to get Doritos for his dog?), but it works well enough for me. Doritos: 9/13.
I’m on the fence here. The random abuse from the little kid is funny and realistic enough, but the ending is super predictable. I feel like this one might “deserve” a yes, but it didn’t quite get there for me. Doritos: 9/14.
Doritos Makes Everything Better
Hmmm…again, a clever concept with an unsatisfying ending. Really, the only thing better than Doritos is a person who is a giant Dorito and hates his existence? Sorry ad, you lost me in the last few seconds. Doritos: 9/15.
Who’s Your Daddy
Alright, now we’re back on track. Starts out ridiculous, then takes a twist for the dramatic. Tells a complicated story in just a few shots. I think Jim Figures It Out is still my top pick, but this is a contender. Doritos: 10/16.
Break Room Ostrich
This one gets good when the boss points in two different directions. Better to be first-half average, second-half strong than the other way around. At least that’s the case when some random blogger is critiquing your Doritos ad, but I think it applies to other stuff in life too. Doritos: 11/17.
Some people listed this one as their favorite. I said in the comments of my last post that this wasn’t coming anywhere near my list. Maybe that was a little harsh, but, well, this one just grosses me out. Doritos: 11/18.
I feel I should reward them for the unexpected twist ending. Then again, I feel like I should punish them for celebrating the murder of a beautiful mythical creature. Eh, it’s good enough. Doritos: 12/19
Top-fiver right here. One thing I hate about ads in general is that they make absurd claims about ordinary objects. Are you leading an ordinary, not totally satisfying life? Then you need whatever the hell we’re selling! This one calls out that absurdity, and is really funny. Doritos: 13/20.
What I just wrote about Kickball Cowboy applies here too. Can't decide if it beats Kickball Cowboy, but it’s still really good. Doritos: 14/21.
Chips Before Chicks
Breasts sell products, I won’t deny it. But I will deny this stupid ad entry into my exclusive good-Doritos-ads club. Doritos: 14/22.
Yeah, this is clever. Even the pun at the end worked for me. Doritos: 15/23.
Last one! You know why this one works? Because one of the characters is invisible. If you’re having trouble with a script because it’s an overused plot, try turning one character invisible. Doritos: 16/24.
Alright Doritos, a success ratio of 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Honestly, I like their list better than mine. But still, no Dorito Dance or Robot Arms?
Which was your favorite? Other than Finger Cleaner? How high an average do you give Doritos? Let me know!