Gun swaps: 10 Celebrity Gun Quotes with “Guns” Replaced with Other Weapons

Gun control policy is getting heated this week. Take a breather with us and enjoy these funny word swaps.

Gun control is controversial, and the people who have died or been injured by gun violence are no laughing matter.  But when celebrities join the mix and weigh in on the issue, some of their quotes are just too good to miss.  To shift the focus away from the heated debate we’ve seen over gun policies this week, we’ve decided to replace the guns in each of these celebrity quotes with a different weapon all together.  Here are our top picks!

Clint Eastwood

“I have a very strict war hammer control policy: if there’s a war hammer around, I want to be in control of it.”

Clint Eastwood - Take Pride in America

Chris Rock

“Cannon control? We need cannon ball control!  I think every canon ball should cost 5,000 dollars.  Because if a cannon ball costs $5,000, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.

Chris Rock 2012

Andy Borowitz

“Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a rocket launcher.”

Andy BorowitzRocket Launcher

 

Seth Meyers

“Arms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Blow Dart Appreciation Day.  So don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.”

Seth MeyerBlow Gun and Darts

 

Jay Leno

“Thousands of dead fish have now washed up on shore along the coast of South Carolina.  Today the NRA said that this wouldn’t have happened if those fish had crossbows.”

Jay LenoPistol Crossbow

 

Anonymous

“Q: How many NRA spokesmen do you need to change a light bulb? A: More machetes.”

Machete

 

Anonymous

“People are so angry about flamethrower regulation, you’d think they were being denied the right to marry the person they love.”

Flamethrower

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger

“I have a love interest in every one of my films – a bazooka.”

Arnold SchwarzeneggerBazooka

 

Ted Nugent

“There are millions of switchblade owners in this country, and not one of them will have an accident today.  The only misuse of switchblades comes in environments where there are drugs, alcohol, bad parents, and undisciplined children. Period.”

Ted NugentSwitchblade

 

Christian Slater

“It’s better to have Brass Knuckles and not need them than to need Bass Knuckles and not have them.”

Christian SlaterBrass Knuckles

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