Guy Denies Girlfriend Ice Cream, Chris Webber Analyzes With Telestrator (Video)

by
Owen Poindexter
Randomly deny your girlfriend ice cream and 99.99% of the time you are a jerk to one person. The other .01% of the time, you become famous to millions of people, and Chris Webber will analyze your denial second by second using the telestrator.

Randomly deny your girlfriend ice cream and 99.99% of the time you are a jerk to one person. The other .01% of the time, you become famous to millions of people. If you're even luckier than that, Chris Webber will analyze your denial second by second using the telestrator.

Because we, as a culture, have not analyzed ice cream-gate enough, let me offer a couple observations here.

The no-look rejection: It's not just that the guy denies his girlfriend ice cream, it's that he does it without looking toward it or her. That takes some skill or presence or something, cut with some douchebag.

The girlfriend's reaction: While boyfriend made no facial expressions the entire time, girlfriend made enough for both of them. On first watch, I thought she was mostly enjoying the joke, playing along, knowing that she will get her ice cream in another second, but after watching again, no, she's pissed. And understandably. There's little that hurts more than expecting the cool, sweet, minty (or possibly pistachio-y) pleasure she's anticipating and having the rug pulled out from under her. Two mitigating factors that may have saved the dude here: one, he gives it up before long, and two, he probably does this sort of thing a lot, so at least she's used to it.

That this was randomly caught on camera: This wouldn't have been funny if it was scripted or planned, and it might not have been that funny if you'd randomly seen it at, say, an ice cream parlor (side note: let's not lose "parlor" as the place that predominantly sells ice cream), but there's something about this moment appearing suddenly from the mostly vacant ether of fan shots at sports games. The only thing I can think of that's analagous is that out of nowhere moment at one of the Super Bowls when the camera cut to Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz watching from a booth, and Diaz happened to be hand-feeding A-Rod a piece of popcorn.

And because we're in a season heavy with sports predictions, here's mine: girl dumps him for someone more forthcoming with ice cream and facial expressions, dude is on reality tv within a year.

Here's the A-Rod popcorn moment (which also includes George and Laura Bush, and Joe Buck talking about John Madden texting, but not about the popcorn moment):

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