Infomercials are a sort of gift from capitalism to insomniacs and night owls. The info part of “infomercial" is somewhat generous. It’s really an excuse for infomercials being 40 times the length of a standard commercial. To be fair, normal commercials don’t contain any information about their product, so over the course of 20 minutes, infomercials might provide a proportional amount of actual information. The fact that much of that information is false or plain nonsensical (did you know that you spend $20 a month on paper towels?) is beside the point.
Anyway, to the compilation above. Infomercials follow a simple formula (according to the great infomercial scholar, Joe Posnanski):
1. Introduce a problem that doesn’t exist
2. Don’t actually solve that problem
3. (Not guaranteed) Be irresistible anyway
Most infomercials don’t make it to 3 (really it’s the snuggie, the shamwow, and then everything else). The compilation focuses on the first part: problems that don’t exist. You know, like how you can’t sit down with a tray without your tray falling on the ground, you can’t crack an egg without all sorts of problems, and book shelves? Good luck.
Oh but we’re not done. You have mysterious issues putting only one thing in the microwave at a time, scrubbing the floor is simply impossible, and you keep trying to vacuum your tangle of wires, which will probably cause a fire. Your dates go bad because you smell, when you cook, literally everything that could go wrong does, and can anyone put on a towel properly these days? Not you, American Consumer.
Fortunately, products are here to rescue you. You have to call right now to get this special offer, but if you do, you will also get another product that seems at least as useful (and unrelated), and the complete works of Barry Manilow.