Science Battle Between Bill Nye & Jose Canseco Won By Bill Nye

Owen Poindexter
Bill Nye "the science guy" and former baseball star Jose Canseco got into a debate over today's most pressing question: does the existence of dinosaurs prove that gravity used to be weaker.

Jose Canseco went on an unprovoked meditation on science yesterday. We should all take a moment to thank the internet that this was preserved for the masses instead of merely spoken aloud to Canseco's bartender.

Take it away Jose:

A stunning scientific revelation! Perhaps baseball isn't the only field where Canseco will make history.

I assume you mean other than mountains, trees the weight of ten blue whales and a 2,200 acre mycelium?

Biggest I saw on wikipedia was the Amphicoelias Fragillimus, which was an estimated 122.4 tons, but that's still unfathomably enormous, so we'll that one slide.

Why couldn't ancient animal tissue be stronger? Or...never mind, keep going.

Let me just make sure I have this right: the splitting of Earth's continents from the single continent known as Pangea caused the Earth's core to spread out, making it weaker, so gravity also got weaker, and enormous creatures could evolve. Cool. So, seeing as Pangea has not reformed, where did the dinosaurs go? I want moon gravity too!

Canseco both admits he doesn't have all the answers and provides one of the great quotes of the year.

Canseco's theory of gravity got enough attention that it reached a certain science guy. Specifically Bill Nye the Science Guy. Nye responded in a letter to the Huffington Post:

His nickname in Major League Baseball was "The Chemist," because he was so knowledgeable in the chemistry of performance enhancing drugs and making musculature go big. Reading his recent tweets about the remarkable size of the ancient dinosaurs ... it doesn't sound (read) as though he's especially fluent in physics. This fills me with either joy or dismay depending on what social media messages he provides us with next. Either he's in on the joke and is just throwing us all a curve ball with plenty of break, or we as a society have failed him completely with regard to the fundamentals of planetary science.

Canseco wasn't going to take this attack from the Bill Nye the Science Guy sitting down. He returned to twitter for some hashtag poetry:

This tweet should win some kind of award. I don't know who would give it, or why, but this one's a winner.

Canseco, however, is a reflective guy, and he took some time to reflect and decided that Bill Nye the Science Guy is not deserving of his ire, and is deserving of something else: a hug:

Let Jose Canseco be an example to all of us: he ponders the mysteries, comes up with original ideas, gets mad, but then stops to reconsider and ends it with a hug. Let's also give three cheers to Bill Nye for being an actual scientist.