Jose Canseco went on an unprovoked meditation on science yesterday. We should all take a moment to thank the internet that this was preserved for the masses instead of merely spoken aloud to Canseco's bartender.
Take it away Jose:
Ancient gravity was much weaker— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
A stunning scientific revelation! Perhaps baseball isn't the only field where Canseco will make history.
You ever wonder why nothing REALLY big exists today in nature— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
I assume you mean other than mountains, trees the weight of ten blue whales and a 2,200 acre mycelium?
elephants today eight tons supersaurs two hundred tons a totally different world. why?— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Biggest I saw on wikipedia was the Amphicoelias Fragillimus, which was an estimated 122.4 tons, but that's still unfathomably enormous, so we'll that one slide.
Animal tissue of muscles and ligaments could not support huge dinosaurs even standing up or pump blood up 60 foot necks— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Gravity had to be weaker to make dinosaurs nimble— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Why couldn't ancient animal tissue be stronger? Or...never mind, keep going.
My theory is the core of the planet shifted when single continent formed to keep us in a balanced spin— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
The land was farther away from the core and had much less gravity so bigness could develop and dominate— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Let me just make sure I have this right: the splitting of Earth's continents from the single continent known as Pangea caused the Earth's core to spread out, making it weaker, so gravity also got weaker, and enormous creatures could evolve. Cool. So, seeing as Pangea has not reformed, where did the dinosaurs go? I want moon gravity too!
I may not be 100% right but think about it.How else could 30 foot leather birds fly?— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013
Canseco both admits he doesn't have all the answers and provides one of the great quotes of the year.
Canseco's theory of gravity got enough attention that it reached a certain science guy. Specifically Bill Nye the Science Guy. Nye responded in a letter to the Huffington Post:
His nickname in Major League Baseball was "The Chemist," because he was so knowledgeable in the chemistry of performance enhancing drugs and making musculature go big. Reading his recent tweets about the remarkable size of the ancient dinosaurs ... it doesn't sound (read) as though he's especially fluent in physics. This fills me with either joy or dismay depending on what social media messages he provides us with next. Either he's in on the joke and is just throwing us all a curve ball with plenty of break, or we as a society have failed him completely with regard to the fundamentals of planetary science.
Canseco wasn't going to take this attack from the Bill Nye the Science Guy sitting down. He returned to twitter for some hashtag poetry:
This tweet should win some kind of award. I don't know who would give it, or why, but this one's a winner.
Canseco, however, is a reflective guy, and he took some time to reflect and decided that Bill Nye the Science Guy is not deserving of his ire, and is deserving of something else: a hug:
hey Bill @thescienceguy just re-read your email to huffpost regarding my scientific theories and think I shouldnt have got so mad. hug for u— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 20, 2013
Let Jose Canseco be an example to all of us: he ponders the mysteries, comes up with original ideas, gets mad, but then stops to reconsider and ends it with a hug. Let's also give three cheers to Bill Nye for being an actual scientist.