Rare Rap Album Bought By Evil Villain And Only Bill Murray Can Save It

Joe Durbin
In a remarkable turn of events, the internet's greatest hero almost had the chance to go toe-to-toe with its truest villain this week. Here is the incredible true story.

The world was apparently overdue for a few new super villains because in just a few short months we have undergone a deluge of megalomaniac personalities such as Donald Trump and scumbag CEO Martin Shkreli.

Meanwhile In Rhode Island!

The Legion Of Doom

Trump’s villainous ways have been so well documented that whoever makes the eventual biopic about this period in his history will have quite the easy time in the research department. Shkreli’s moment of infamy was a bit more short-lived but equally deplorable.

Shkreli made headlines for purchasing the production rights to, and dramatically raising the market price of, a medical drug meant to benefit AIDS patients.

Following this despicable decision Shkreli was scientifically determined to be a tool by researchers at MIT (not really but we’re sure that’s what they would find if they bothered to check). But his 15 minutes faded and the Internet allowed the monster to slink back into whatever hole he originally crawled out of.

However, Shkreli is back in the headlines when it was discovered that the mad scientist had paid $2 million for one of the most valuable albums of all time.

The Musical Grail

“One Upon A Time In Shaolin” is a legendarily unique album recorded by the Wu-Tang Clan. There is only one copy in the world and its tracks have been heard only by the smallest handful of listeners.

Apparently, Shkreli’s offer was accepted before his controversy broke. By that time the ink was already dry on the contracts and there was nothing that could be done.

The Internet was, once again, in an uproar at Shkreli’s expense. This is like if at the end of Raiders of The Lost Ark Hitler got to keep the ark and there was nothing Indy could do about it.

The (Almost) Miracle

Nobody likes to see the bad guy win and so one Twitter user sent out the following Tweet that revealed a possible loophole written into the sale contract for the album.

The image seems to show a clause that stipulates any member of the Wu-Tang Clan, or actor Bill Murray, may attempt to steal the album back at any time. If they are successful ownership rights will revert to the thief.

The tweet made more than a few headlines and, although it was eventually revealed to be a hoax, it gave a beleaguered Internet hope for just a moment.

Could it be that our greatest hero might be able to thwart our truest nemesis? Murray is such a beautifully crazy man that he just might go for the album anyway, hoax or not.

And when he is successful he will have the thanks of a grateful digital people. 

Continue Reading: Bill Murray Crashed A Bachelor Party, And It Was Awesome

Banner Image: @fightland on Twitter