BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse is celebrating its new line of quinoa dishes, and they want to use your kid’s psyche as their billboard.
What’s in it for you? The chance to win a gift card worth $10,000 to any and all of BJ’s 163 restaurants across the nation.
That’s right. Naming your kid after the latest trend in pseudocereals will only garner you the chance to win $10,000. Only the first person to name his or her baby during the contest period will reap the rewards. The hapless remainder of parents now charged with kids named Quinoa will have to nurse their secret shame without the aid of unlimited carnitas fries with chile verde.
As for the “lucky” winner, it’s not like they will be able to put their winnings toward funding the years of therapy their child will no doubt need, on account of being named after food. They basically just sold their kid’s identity for a nigh infinite amount of cherry chipotle glazed salmon. You'd think they'd hold out for some kobe beef and caviar before resorting to such lows.
BJ’s Chief Marketing Officer, Kevin Maye, admitted that the marketing ploy is a tad “crazy,” but that the company’s excitement over their “amazing new Quinoa Bowls” warranted such a big move.
We think that if BJ’s team members were really that excited about their new menu, they’d name their own kids Quinoa, instead of attempting to pawn off that ignominy on their customers.
It's worth noting that this isn't the first time the corporate has infringed upon the human. There was the woman who was paid to have "goldenpalace.com" tattooed on her forehead.
Even more pitiful was the man who got a tattoo of the Google logo on his arm first, and asked for compensation from the company after.
Read more: Hilarious Marketing Fails That'll Make You Feel Better About Yourself