"Saturday Night Live" began its first show since early February by skewering Attorney General Jeff Sessions in a sketch inspired by the 1994 classic "Forrest Gump."
The cold open showed Kate McKinnon’s Sessions lounging at a bus stop, telling various commuters about his horrible week where he was forced to address allegations that he, along with several members of President Donald Trump’s administration, had secret ties to the Russia government.
“It started out real good. The president made a great speech. Folks were thrilled on account of it was real words in a row for a whole hour," he told one of his bench-mates. "We were all as happy as a monkey with a peanut machine, then I went to bed and got 800 messages and phone alerts saying I was a sneaky little liar. I didn’t know what to do, so my lawyers said, ‘Run, Jeffy! Run!'”
Sessions also brought up his dear friend Kellyanne Conway.
“Being in the government is so fun… you meet so many nice people like this, my best friend Kellyanne,” he remarked before taking out a photo of the Trump aide sitting with her feet up on the Oval Office couch. “She ain’t got no legs. She’s the best talker you ever heard… but they don’t let her talk anymore.”
Throughout the clip, Sessions munched on a box of chocolates, tweaking Forrest Gump’s iconic line “Life is like a box of chocolates" by adding "there sure are a whole lot of brown ones in there.”
Other passersby came and went, including SNL's Vladimir Putin, who warned McKinnon “this meeting never happened.”
“I wasn’t going to remember it anyway,” she replied.
Her Sessions even called Donald Trump “Donn-ay,” like Forrest used to call his longtime friend “Jenn-ay.
The hilarious cold open ended with an appearance from host Octavia Spencer, dressed as her character Minny Jackson from "The Help," who famously served her racist boss a chocolate pie with poop in it.
“My name’s Minny and you don’t know me, but I’m from a different movie,” said Spencer before offering Sessions her "special" chocolate pie.
Watch the entire sketch in the video above.
Banner and thumbnail credit: Reuters, Yuri Gripas