Is there any a diary more famous than our dear Bridget Jones'?
Answer: Definitely not — unless it's Bridget TRUMP's diary.
That's right. Some brilliant soul created a Bridget Jones-Donald Trump character mash-up on Twitter, aptly titled Bridget Trump's Diary. (If you're not familiar with the romance-comedy movie franchise featuring Renee Zellweger, well, that's on your list of things to do tonight.)
What makes the account so funny are the satirical tweets echoing the films. At the center of the series is Bridget Jones, a British woman looking for love in all the wrong places.
And at the center of this account is President-elect Donald Trump, lusting over "Vlad" of the Putin variety, whining about progressives and feminists, and overly concerned about being a "super important businesswoman."
It's a mash-up made in heaven.
Mmmmm. Vladimir Putin, though. Love his wicked dissolute air, while being v. successful & clever— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 15, 2017
Think might wear sexy black suit tomorrow
"Vlad called" apparently refuting cheating rumors, because in this universe Bridget Trump and Vlad are most certainly lovers, and probably passionate ones at that.
Vlad called, said he hadn't cheated on me & that anyone who claimed he had was 'worse than prostitutes'— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 17, 2017
Hurrah! Am sex goddess once again!
In fact, Bridget Trump is so distracted by Vlad, she places empty folders next to her at press conferences just to make it look like she's not.
BIG work day— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 11, 2017
Must. Look. Busy & carry lots of folders
Can't reveal I spend all day thinking about Vlad
Am super important business woman!
More musings from Bridget Trump tackle everything from the inauguration to health care to President Barack Obama's likability.
I WILL NOT— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 13, 2017
Waste money on: unaffordable health care , tax , planned parenthood, moving to Washington or exotic underwear
Why oh why doesn't anyone want to play at the inauguration?— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 15, 2017
What if I die alone & am found 3 weeks later half eaten by an Alsatian?
Kelly Anne told me Vile Meryl said a awful thing about me at an awards do. Heard she is a democrat, very cruel race.— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 9, 2017
Ate pudding from M&S
Noon. NYC. My Golden Tower: Ugh. Why does everyone love Obama, John Lewis & MLK? Not fair! Civil rights are so WORTHY— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 14, 2017
Circ. of thighs 25ins
BRIDGET TRUMP— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 8, 2017
January -An exceptionally bad start
Drunk tweeted Assange
Calories consumed -6,000 but mainly the hopes & dreams of the poor
Oh, and that Ivanka Twitter mishap? No biggie. Bridget Trump's got the power of flirtation to make it look like a blip on the radar.
Ugh. Accidentally tweeted wrong person this morning. Worried I may get fired from super important new job!— BRIDGETTRUMPSDIARY (@BRIDGETTRUMPSD1) January 17, 2017
Will flirtatiously shrug it off
Banner/thumbnail credit: Flickr, Gage Skidmore